Fragility

I have been having some conversations with my friend Renee about fragility.  She lost her dad when she was in her 20's.  She took care of her mom for the next 20 something years and lost her about 4 years ago.  So we are both orphans.
Last Friday I was supposed to go on a local zipline.  I was craving the high, the speed, the thrill.  And thru a series of circumstances I was told by the leader of my group I could not do it.  It really had nothing to do with my ability.  The leader was very odd.   One person thought maybe narcissistic.   Maybe at a minimum he was a control freak and extremely arrogant.  Anyway.  I was devastated.  It was a blow to my ego, to my self esteem, to my sense of self worth.  Around the same time all this was going on my friend Renee was in a minor car accident in a parking structure in LA.  Her partner and child were out of town so we called each other.
Neither of us could handle our situations.  We are fragile.  We have held our lives together for the last so many years 20-15 I think.  We have been strong, we have navigated the system.  We have taken care of our parents, our children.
I think we have both hit some wall.  She has money issues and I am too alone.  We are so fragile, so broken.  We google medical symptoms and we tell each other not to, but we still do.  Our bodies hurt and ache.  We each have a plan, she has a partner to help, I have my inheritance but no secondary safety net.  And we are scared.
And fragile.